Hello. I am Sweet Dog and my Human has told me I have to do a guest blog this week as she is lying in a hot bubbly bath defrosting. I have to admit this is totally my fault. We went a big walk and she said ‘DON’T go on the ice’ but it looked so much fun so I ignored her. Well the ice wasn’t quite as solid as it seemed – I nearly feckin drowned!!! So she had to pull me out and she got a frozen foot while doing so. I was then freezing cold and shivering so she had to put her t shirt and jumper on me so I would not get hypothermia (though maybe more likely she was wanting to avoid more vet bills – I think her exact words to the vet when I accidently ate a plastic bag full of dead rotting fish and had to be rushed to the vets were ‘how fecking much? Just to make her puke? Are you feckin kidding me – that’s 2 pairs of shoes and a feckin dress’ I mean I think she was kidding but I got some pretty black looks). Anyway upshot was she had to drive home in her bra while I was cosy in her clothes in the boot. She also said some bad words that I hadn’t heard since she started her HRT.
And this is the topic she has told me to write about – my Human has been on HRT for 4 months now and wants me to tell you all what I have observed. So unaccustomed to blogging as I am – I will try my best to explain the changes I have seen and the impact it has had on me.
1 My Menopausal Human used to get really really hot and I loved it and would jump on her belly and enjoy the warmth. This sadly has stopped and she is just the same temperature as other humans which makes me a bit sad. I am glad she still has a jelly belly though as it is like a water bed and really fun to sit on.
2 My Human is also sleeping all through the night. This also makes me sad as often she would come to my sleeping place in the kitchen when she couldn’t sleep and we would listen to the radio together and invariably this would lead to biscuits – hobnobs for her and Bonios for me. I miss this.
3 My Menopausal Human seems to be much less forgetful. This too makes me sad as often I used to get two dinners just by looking hungry. She also doesn’t appear in the kitchen several times a night to check the cooker is off/door is locked. Again this means a drastic reduction in my biscuit intake as often I would get a couple while she was down.
4 My Menopausal Human used to see a lot of people called ‘tosser’ and ‘knobhead’ and ‘wanker’ when we were out driving. I am not sure what has happened but they seem to have all disappeared – last time we drove for two hours and I don’t think there were any of them out there at all.
So these are the negatives. I am trying to be positive though – as I am 7 so in Doggy years I am 49 and soon will be approaching the ‘change’ myself. I think. I mean I am not totally sure if Doggies do go through this but I have twice ended up with one of those HRT patches on my tail when it falls off my Human and so far no ill effects.
But there are positives:
1 My Menopausal Human is full of energy and we go on massive walks now which is great – normally she would be knackered and I would have to put up with a short walk then she would stop at the top of a hill and just chuck the ball down the hill and sit back while I puffed up and down the hill retrieving it. Am glad those pathetic walks are being replaced with something more substantial.
2 My Menopausal Human laughs a lot more now and sometimes we dance round the kitchen together before breakfast – which I like a lot. Normally she would just resemble a burst grumpy couch til lunchtime.
I can hear my lovely Human getting out the bath now so I must go and see if she is OK and thank her for saving my life by jumping all over her and licking her frantically. I know she is just kidding when she say ‘yuck.. get off… get down’.
Oh – and she won’t want me to say this – but I will anyway. She has written a book on her exploits as a menopausal woman and was wondering who might be interested in reading it if it were to be published?