So the chat at lunchtime at work was around New Year Resolutions. After weeks of living as a Christmas Sloth where a box of after eights with a baileys feels like an acceptable breakfast, I find this conversation something of a challenge. So I just nod along to claims of going to the gym three times a week/eating vegan/attending zumba/climbing kilimanjaro etc.
tbh for me – if I can manage to write 2019 at the end of the date instead of 2018 then I am going to see that as a win. I have not achieved that yet. But I am proud that today I was able to do my work trousers up this morning after 3 weeks in pajamas (this has more to do with a terrible flu bug and a broken tooth than willpower over the Christmas goodies – and yes someone like Victoria Beckham might not see being able to do up a pair of size 18s and still being able to breathe as a ‘win’ – but I do). I am lowering the bar I suppose – but I am absolutely not doing some bloody ten point plan to ‘live my best life ever’. There is just no point in saying I won’t eat pizza or buy any more shoes as it just takes one of those promotional Dominos emails offering me 2 big pizzas for £15 or Schuh to announce a sale and it’ll all go pete tong.
I found my New Years resolutions list for 2018 during a clear out and hadn’t achieved anything on it – indeed if I just put a line through 2018 and put 2019 I could have my resolutions for 2019 – except instead of losing 3 stone I need to make that 4 as 2018 didn’t really go to plan weight wise.
So I had a whole year of underachieving.
I come back from my daydreaming to join the conversation just as Joan from Finance is talking about a Buddhist retreat and wants to know if I fancy it. “Nah don’t think so” I reply. The only thing me and old Buddha have in common is our BMI.
But now it seems that everyone is on a mission to have me develop a resolution or two.
‘Why don’t you just list all the things you did last year and put the word Give Up before them?’ said Spreadsheet James sobbing with laughter at his wit. It is my turn to get the afternoon teas and coffees this afternoon. He always has a diet coke and I resolve to give the can a bloody good shake before handing it over to them – we’ll see whose fecking laughing then!
So everyone then has to join in – ‘how about you wear one of your 15 pairs of trainers to the gym instead of just to look cool’ says the Graduate. I laugh along coz I don’t want to admit the trainers aren’t to make me look cool – I’d love to wear lovely heels but a dodgy hip and painful lower back has kicked that to the curb and mean Sketchers are the way forward for me.
Then we all have a good laugh about when I tried a kettle bell class and dropped kettle bell which made a dent in gym floor. Again to be perfectly honest – if the instructor did not want marks on his floor then they should not hand me anything that weighs more than a family sized galaxy.
Let’s face it – making resolutions is one thing – but actually following them through is quite another!!
Happy 2019 to all the Galloping Catastrophes out there still with their heads in Quality Street tubs bingewatching Netflix. I salute you!